Monday, April 28, 2014



I'm tired. I'm just tired. I don't know how long I can hold. I think I'm not suitable to work at my current place. I'm slow and I don't really understand things. People always say take your time and learn. Honestly, I'm tired. I'm just tired. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be where I am now. It's not that I'm not being grateful. I am grateful. I am very pleased with what I have now. It's just that it doesn't seem right. I don't belong there. 

I wish I know what I want to do in life. I wish have talents.. so if I quit now, I can just start moving on. But I don't have those. I'm just being lucky to get what I already have now. I can't lose it. But I'm just too tired. Tired of being lack. Tired of pretending to be interested into things I don't even fancy. I don't know. Where should I go. I wish life is easy. But it is not. I'm shaping my own life. I have to consider a lot of things. I have to think about others feelings as well. I can't be selfish.

Sometimes I just wish to die. But again.. I'm being selfish. How about my family. How about my parents. They will be sad. I'm such a loser.. indeed. I just need to be patient and do my best. I can't just think about myself. But I just lose my strengths. I really need words of motivation to boost up my spirit. To feel eager to go to work everyday instead of tweeting "malasnya" again and again. I need to be strong. But I don't know for how long. 

I want to go back to Penang. I want to work there. I want to stay near to my parents so I can take care of them. I appreciate them a lots. I want to pay back what they have given this far. I want to buy them good stuffs. I want to bring them for vacations. I want to treat them for good foods. I just want them to be happy. I can't imagine losing them. I love them so much. I wish I can hold a bit longer so I can pay them back. Allah.. please give me strength. Please guide me.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

In need of vacationsss

I am longing for a vacation. Cepat la bulan 6. I have a vacation plan in June. A getaway. Not going far pun but still excited. Can't wait. I just love travelling. Love to go to places that I have never been. To appreciate the beauty. It is something fun for me. Indescribable. The only thing is to find geng travel. I have many friends but to ajak travel nahhh.. tak ramai. Some ada money problem, some tak free, some ada banyak excuses itu ini, some want to save money and bla blaa. That is why I always have different travel partners. Pergi sini dengan orang lain. Pergi sana dengan orang lain. Kan best kalau ada geng yang nak ajak je travel bile bile on jer. That would be cool. Oh man.. I wish I have twinsss hehhe. Ohh how I am longing for beaches... imagining myself walking down the beach wearing singlet and short with shades and hat under the hot sun with breezy wind. The tranquility. I couldn't ask for more.


Today marks 2 years I have been working with PETRONAS. Mixed feelings. But above all, I am grateful.