I have made too many mistakes, wrong doings to her and I'm so disgruntled because she's gone before I could seek for her forgiveness. She lived about 14 months with us. Whenever she asked me to buy her something and I felt reluctant to, I would give excuses. That was bad of me.
Last time, when I last met her during CNY break, she looks weak and lost her appetite. She seems to be quiet than before, she is not talkative like usual. People could tell there's something wrong with her. When I was about to leave home, she asked when will I come back lagi. I said bulan 3. But now, I know I will never meet her again.
And before I could make my move out of her room, she cried and groaning. She's complaining about her condition. I know she must be bored lying on the bed 24 hours. I wish she can walk like before but she just can't. I don't know what to do, just soothing her down and kissed her before I leave home.
Mum's message was a strike. I woke up late this morning and found that there's one unread message. It was shocking when mum said tok has passed away last night. Why mum or dad didn't tell me earlier? I slept at 2.30 am last night, at that time she's already breathless.
The message was sent at 3 am. I was sleeping at that time and just noticed about the message later when I woke up at 10 something in the morning. I gave mum a call but she didn't answer. I asked Kak Yong by messaging her. She said it's true. She's also not at home, she returned back to UiTM earlier yesterday.
This is so unexpected, I thought I would be able to meet her again in March during the mid sem break but it's too late. She will not be there for me. She leaves us too fast. I want to kiss her for the last time but she was buried at 11 am. I could not make it.
Dad said no need to go home because the funeral is over. Plus, I have classes and presentation this week. So, I decide to go back this Thursday because there'll be no classes on Friday. I'm so disappointed and to this point, I feel awfully guilty. I was not there during her funeral.
I will miss her a lot. She has touched so many lives during her days. A-Fatihah.